#rendtheheavens Day 24

Day 24: STATIC

1 Samuel 2:3

Talk no more so very proudly,

    let not arrogance come from your mouth;

for the Lord is a God of knowledge,

    and by him actions are weighed.

Christmas is really not the best holiday. It’s beautiful, yes, and full of family and friends and food and celebration…and expectation. Not all of us do so well with such jam-packed weeks and such heightened expectations of joy. I’d venture to say that maybe the majority of us don’t do so well with it. Nonetheless, December is what December is.

I am an introvert, and something of a homebody, and a 5 on the enneagram (one characteristic of 5s is that we have or assume we have limited stores of energy and have to choose carefully how and when to use it). Being with people, especially big groups of people, exhausts me. I don’t mean that I don’t like it, and I don’t mean that I don’t enjoy people. But after the third or fourth gathering in a row, I am literally weak in the knees, brain-scrambled with an abundance of interaction.

My left eye has been twitching for a solid week, now. It’s what happens when I get overloaded, overextended, overstimulated. It’s December, it happens.

When I get too full like this, all the external and internal channels start to sound like static. Pride, arrogance, posturing – my patience is short for it all, from others and from myself.

I know that I am in need of some silence, some stimulation-free time, a day without a to-do list and an evening without a gathering. I am arguing with myself about when and how to make it happen.

Know what the irony is of all this? I wrote a column about how to avoid it. Literally wrote a how-to on avoiding getting overwhelmed by holiday stress. Pride, arrogance, posturing…I could probably stand to take a bit of my own advice.

So, I’m going to put on some Over the Rhine and stare, unfocused, at my Christmas tree for a while. Maybe the static will resolve itself.

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